At Lirum Larum Leg, we sincerely strive to help children's adults create inspiring environments where play becomes a source of hygge, fun, presence, and immersion in an easy and clear and simple way.
Therefore, we are delighted to collaborate with experts, Fie Hørby and Mie Kaae from Blackbird Institute, to provide you with weekly tips and inspiration for life with children. Below, you can read about how playing with dolls helps your child acquire social skills and get concrete tips on how to easily jumpstart role play toys that will help you and your child learn more about each other.
When I grow up, I want to be an adult!
What adults do is fascinating, especially when you are a child, curious about life, and have big dreams of doing everything on your own. That's why little ones mimic the big ones—training and practicing to become adults.
Children play with dolls from a very young age. It is here that the first role play toys are created. Role play toys are a fun and delightful way to pretend to be grown up by imitating and copying adult behavior—from how we communicate, cook, tuck in, comfort, to how we divide cakes and resolve conflicts. Everything is mirrored through play, where the close and familiar play a large role—and this is actually the very best way to learn.
If we, as adults, refrained from saying a single educational word, our children would still be exposed to important upbringing all the time, because they watch us and constantly learn how we behave and act as human beings in the world.
Playing with dolls develops children
Children have a perpetual hunger for something that can support their play. The doll is an essential tool that the child uses to create a sense of community and a feeling of reality. Especially children aged 2-5 years immerse themselves deeply into their role play toys. They personify the doll and for them, the doll becomes alive. However, for older children, it is also crucial to have space to play as it develops their identity and social skills. We, as adults, can support this by not interfering with our adult perspectives, but instead making room for play on the children's own terms.
There is no reason to pack away the dolls as children grow older. On the contrary, it is a good idea to encourage (appropriately) playing with dolls—even up to the age of 12 years, as play hones the child's empathetic skills.
Encouraging or initiating a play with dolls can be done in many ways. You can play the classic game and invite them to a tea party, where you get new names and personalities to unfold and play with. But you can also switch roles, which can lead to good laughs and at the same time give insight into how the child sees you and mirrors you.
When you, "as the child" for example, spill, make a mess, refuse to do something, or won't sit still, how does "the adult" react? You will probably be surprised—both positively and negatively—and it provides an opportunity for a good conversation.
- "Is that how you think I am/feel?"
- "What do you think about that?"
- "What would you like me to say/do instead?"
Listen, play, and learn!
For the child, play is the purpose. The play does not have a forward-looking purpose in the child's mind. Play is simply a crucial means of expression, and children just cannot stop thinking in games.
Playing with dolls together with your child is an excellent way to understand both of you better and your relationship with each other—and others. It is also an important play in relation to all the social and relational skills our children need to develop and learn. Therefore: play with your child, and make space for the child to also play with the dolls alone.
By Mie Kaae, March 20, 2018
You can learn more about yourself and your child in the Blackbird Institute's newsletter, where Fie Hørby & Mie Kaae advise parents and professionals weekly on how we can take greater leadership in the family to achieve closer relationships and better contact with ourselves and our children.
Blackbird Institute is a family therapy institute that offers education in relational competence, family counseling, and family therapy. The institute was founded by Fie Hørby and Mie Kaae.
Fie Hørby is a psycho- and family therapist and mother to Rumle, aged 16 years, Liv, aged 11 years, and Isak, aged 0 years. She has written the bestsellers “Drop Upbringing!” and “About Teenagers – for Parents.”
Mie Kaae holds a master's degree in psychology and communication, is the author of the book "What Do You Really Want?" and is trained in dance and body therapy. Mie is also a mother to three—Marvin, aged 12 years, Linus, aged 10 years, and Havanna, aged 2 years.
Read more about the Blackbird Institute here
